When I was a teen and young adult I would constantly say “I’m sorry”. If something fell out of someone else’s hand, I would say “I’m sorry”, while trying to catch it for them. If something fell out of the fridge, “I’m sorry”. The worse part, I didn’t even realize I was constantly saying “I’m sorry”, until one day my mother actually pointed it out.
“Why do you always say you’re sorry Andrea?”
“Uh… Do I? I don’t know….”
I started to think about it, and I became totally aware of my overuse of the phrase “I’m sorry”. I would say “I’m sorry” and repeat it with another “I’m sorry”, because I realized I was using the phrase without even meaning it. I was apparently sorry for everything, and often I genuinely felt sorry. I’d feel guilty for my feelings. If I cried, “I’m sorry.” If you cried, “I’m sorry”. If I forgot something, “I’m sorry” and I’d feel terrible about it. For some reason, I had taken it upon myself to carry my pain, the effect of my pain on others and then everyone’s elses pain on my shoulders and I was sorry about everything.
Totally not healthy!
When I became aware of my overuse of “I’m sorry” I was liberated. Liberated from feeling that I had to be perfect. I felt free to be me, to feel, to express my feelings and to speak up. I no longer felt it my responsibility to make others feel happy and to solve every problem.
Let me be clear. Yes, I make mistakes, and sometimes they are unfortunate and sometimes they aren’t a big deal. I absolutely say “I’m sorry” when I honestly and truthfully mean it and when I am apologizing. But the difference is instead I no longer come from a place of victimhood and fear, but rather from love.
Thank you for reading.
Much Love,
Andrea
