The teen years are often seen as a time when life is easy and problem-free.  However, adolescents face problems, social challenges, emotional hurt and stress that can often be the center of their world.  No matter what we do, we cannot protect our children from everything that life can bring, but we can help them develop skills that will help them get through life’s challenges.  Having a strong sense of self comes through the skill of resilience.

Here’s the good news:  Youth can learn the skill of resilience!

The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties can help children and teens manage stress and anxiety.  Resilience doesn’t mean that they will not experience stress and anxiety, but that they will survive whatever challenge they are presented with.  In fact, it is important for youth to learn that setbacks aren’t always a negative but an opportunity to grow and learn.

Setbacks force individuals to stop and analyze situations, behaviors, and actions.  There isn’t a one-way fit all for developing resilience, but there are many strategies.  Here are three tips to help promote resilience in your teen.

  1. Encourage your teen to help others. In addition to making a difference in someone else’s life, teens are part of a community, gain confidence, develop empathy, acquire the skill to problem solve and learn new skills.   If your son or daughter isn’t involved in a volunteer project, help them brainstorm ideas ways they can help others.
  2. Maintain communication. Even when it may feel like your teen doesn’t want to talk to you, talk with them.  Sometimes the best time to talk is while you are doing something or driving in the car.  Ask questions and give them space to ask you questions.  Be sure to ask them their opinions and listen.  Try to avoid solving the problem for them and encourage them to find solutions through open-ended questioning.
  3. Help your child set goals. It takes dedication and commitment to set a goal and to follow through with it.  As they are working on their goal, provide support and the opportunity to monitor progress.  Even older children need praise and support and they will look to you as their cheerleader.

I hope this article starts the conversation on helping developing youth develop resilience.  What strategies do you use to encourage resilience in your children?

Much love,

Andrea

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